Writing a FIRST Message That Gets Replies - Online Dating Advice

Joining an online dating site is easy. Just upload some of your photos and pick one for your profile picture. Fill out an online form with your information and wait for potential matches. But the one thing that most men find difficult is to start a conversation.

Writing your online dating first message can be quite challenging. You need to compose the right words to get the attention of the girl you like. You can’t just send a simple “hi” or “hello” and expect an interesting reply, right?

It’s understandable that sending the first text to a girl can be a big scare for you, especially if she’s someone you really like. The same thing can happen online, thus, you need to step up your game and be creative if you really want to get the attention of the woman you like.

However, before you send your first message, you have to weigh things first. Is it too straightforward? Does it make sense? You have to consider these questions before pressing the send button.

Impressing women online is not easy, let alone getting replies from them. So it’s imperative for men to make things interesting. To ease your worries, here are some tips on how to start a conversation with a girl that will surely get you a reply:

1. Say “hi” with a twist.

Saying “hi” or “hello” is very common when meeting friends, family, and colleagues. It is also a fine greeting if you want to meet new friends online.

However, if you want to start a conversation with a woman you met on an online dating site, saying “hi” or “hello” will never make the cut.

So, you have to do it with a twist. Say hi, ask about her or how her day went, and introduce yourself. For example, “Hi, how are you doing? I’m John,” or, “Hey, I’m John. How are you doing?”

Greeting and introducing yourself all at once will skip the awkward part of asking, “What’s your name?”

2. Say something about her profile.

Another way to initiate a conversation online is to comment about her profile. This will leave the impression that you have read through her dating profile and that you are interested in her.

When meeting people online, simply telling them that they look good is not interesting. Although it will make them feel nice about themselves, it just feels meaningless. That is why it is essential to give attention to what someone wrote on their profile—hobbies, sports, etc.

If one of her hobbies is dancing, you can start your first message with, “I see you like dancing. I have attended dance classes before, but I suck at it. However, I still want to learn.”

If she loves to go mountain hiking, you may say, “I like that you are into mountain hiking. I like it, too. I have been to Yosemite and Yellowstone in North America. How about you?”

This way, she will have something to respond to and will make sure that the conversation keeps going.

3. Go for jokes.

Recent studies say that humor is sexy, and women tend to like men who make them laugh. So if you have some good old jokes in your pocket, it’s time to show them off.

You can start your first message with a simple and funny GIF, then follow up with a funny text. Whether it's a dog or person with a corny yet flirty pick-up line, as long as it makes a woman laugh and she responds to it, then you’re good to go.

Using jokes as an online dating first message is fine. However, make sure that you will not offend the person you are talking to.

4. Ask her questions.

Asking open-ended questions is a good idea to initiate conversations, too, especially since it will give women something to respond to. However, you have to make sure that your first conversation will not turn into an interview. So avoid asking too many questions.

You can ask about her other hobbies, those that are not written on her profile. You can also ask about the places she has visited, or about her favorites—movies, books, music, etc.

Since it’s only your first conversation, make sure to keep it about her. Avoid asking questions that are too personal just yet so you will not make her feel uncomfortable.

5. Avoid physical compliments.

Compliments about the physical appearance of a woman are good, but women are not into that anymore. Saying words such as sexy and hot to a woman implies that you only notice or are interested in her beautiful physique, not her inner beauty.

As you should know, women online find it disturbing to receive compliments about their body from strangers. This makes physical compliments one of the most common dating mistakes men make. If you want to have a successful interracial relationship, don’t be creepy.

Give compliments about her hobbies instead. For instance, you can say, “You like watching basketball games? Wow, you’re so cool!” or, “I really find it fascinating that you like art.”

You can also compliment her and talk about your similarities. For example, you can say, “It’s nice to know someone who loves hunting like me.” This will give you the opportunity to talk about your common ground, thus keeping the conversation flowing.

Quality Over Quantity

Yes, you can send lengthy messages to the woman you like, but don’t expect getting replies from her. Nowadays, women are done reading long messages without any sense.

If you are composing a long message for the woman you met online, don’t bother sending it. Instead, delete it and start anew. However, this time, focus on quality instead of quantity.

There’s always plenty of other ways to initiate conversations online and get a reply. You may follow the tips given above or research some online dating message tips. What matters is that you keep it respectful, senseful, and entertaining that the woman you are talking to online will be interested in sending you a reply.

Whether or not you’re ready to send an online dating first message to the woman you like, you’ll only know which messages will or work and which ones don’t if you just go for it. Even if they don’t work out the way you planned, at least you’ll know what to steer clear of in the future. With that, you’ll get used to talking to women online in no time!